Heavy with Regret

I generally refrain from outwardly expressing extreme emotion via blog, but I feel like such a complete and total idiot at this juncture that I am overwhelmed.

I got a job offer today for the most PERFECT job imaginable, only to find out classes start earlier than I will be in Spain, so it's likely that now they won't hire me. I tried to change my flight, but since I'd have to leave 3 days from now to get there in time, it would cost over $2,500 to make the change, which is just absolutely ri-fucking-diculous.

Why do I feel like an ass, you say? Of course it isn't my fault that classes start earlier and the DOS emailed me only 3 days ago to tell me this - how could I have known? Well, I feel like it's my fault because I was aware that classes in Spain generally start from mid-September to October, but I was greedy (and cheap) and wanted to spend as much time in the U.S. as I could (and also get the cheapest flight possible) before returning to Spain. I feel like some awful buildup of career karma is out to get me, but I can't for the life of me figure out what I did to deserve this agony of regret.

If this doesn't work out (and it's probably 90% sure that it won't, but I don't know until the DOS emails me back), I am devastated and totally freaked out about my future for the next year. Of the potential jobs there are available to me, anywhere in Spain, many of them will start classes on September 15th too, or at least want a face-to-face interview around that time, so because I'm not in Spain yet, I've lost all of those possibilites. With the chance of being hired already so low due to my non-EU status, I feel like all hope is lost, which makes me question why I am doing this in the first place, why I would just assume that things would work out no matter what when I don't have any rational proof to base it on.

So I guess the message for anyone who stumbles upon my blog and is also a beginner TEFL teacher in Spain, the moral of my story is GET TO SPAIN EARLY if you want to find a job, or you'll hate yourself later.